He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
