Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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