Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
