why didn't you poke me back
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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