I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
