using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
