I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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