Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
