i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
