So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
