I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
