See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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