if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
