You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
