Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
