i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
