wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
