the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
