his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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