HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
