super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
