worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
