I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
ttyl tear gas
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You were trust falling into bushes
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
