Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
