great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
