Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
