That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
