In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
