There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
