If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize