STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
