Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love having hate sex.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
