dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
