Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
