i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
