wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
