Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
