It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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