As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
