Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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