I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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