so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
