I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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