Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
