i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
