I wish I only lived at night.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
