just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
