$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
