Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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