I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Randomize
