this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
